The Paua Palace

My royal blog, life, opinions and me, it’s all about ME.. Right?

Where have all the Feminists gone?

Posted by pauaprincess on August 22, 2007

Nowhere, they are exercising their right to make choices.

housewifeViolent Acres has a piece out on most Women being wasted potential, apparently we should all be out “doing stuff” instead of primping in front of mirrors and sitting gossiping in our dimly lit kitchens.  Makes me wonder just what sort of women VA knows.

“Feminists didn’t fight for our right to have more responsibilities outside of raising the children for us to refuse any responsibility that didn’t revolve around children.”

Quite right, but they didn’t fight to force every woman out into the world either.  Those old school feminists fought for us to have choices.  The choice to go out and work without being looked at askance, the right to equal pay for equal work and the right to be considered for employment even if one day we might get married and have children.  They burnt their own bra’s by choice, they didn’t force every female in the vicinity to add to the bonfire. They invited them to burn bras if they wanted to do it.  Feminism is not about what type of accomplishments you have, it’s about the freedom to be ambitious.

Why should it be considered wrong to excel at being a wife and mother? What is so shameful about being a housewife?  Why consider it wasted potential?  The feminist movement gave us the choice to do that if we wanted to.  Every woman doesn’t need to be a CEO or head of the local food shelter to be fulfilled and that’s ok.  If your ambition is to be an A+ home maker, good on you.

The best year I’ve had thus far, was the one I spent at home when the pipi princess was a baby and the princeling had just begun school.  I enjoyed having a tidy home and being with my children, trying out new recipes and doing homemaker things.  It was new and different. I added the string of Mother/Housewife to my bow.  I don’t know that I could have done it forever, but the nice thing is, I didn’t have to, thanks to the old school feminists.

I do work outside the home.  I have a demanding job that requires multitasking and intense concentration.  Unsurprisingly my colleagues are primarily women and by in large mothers, because we excel at multi tasking, a skill learned from generations of juggling children and household responsibilities.  In addition prior to marriage and children, I did volunteer and played sports.  While my children are proud of the work I currently do and my previous accomplishments, what they appreciate most is the time I do spend with them.  Moreover, I didn’t do all the things I did and do, to impress anyone.  Least of all my children.

“Not that there is anything wrong with being a Mother, mind you. I just don’t think women should be Mothers and nothing else. Motherhood should enrich your life; it shouldn’t be your life.”

While I agree with that particular statement, some don’t and that is their choice.  Motherhood isn’t meant to be condiment to life, something you season your life experience with.  I admire the type of woman who can dedicate her life to raising polite, productive human beings with a decent values system.  I’m astonished at anyone who can whip up a costume for book day with 12 hours notice, whilst simultaneously cooking dinner, helping with homework and talking on the telephone.  I know the pipi’s school mates admire the mothers who do teacher help and who voluntarily go on school outings.  These are things I would be either incapable of doing or bore me to tears within seconds.

Explaining motherhood to the childless is something akin to explaining how sex feels to a virgin, you can try but you will at some point run out of meaningful adjectives.  VA asks “Why should we become egotistical about something an insect can do?” to which I answer, some days I can quite understand why animals eat their young, but I refrain from doing it. Can a praying mantis say the same?  Motherhood isn’t just a state of mind, it’s a chemical, emotional and biological roller coaster ride that lasts a lifetime.

The kind of people that piss VA off are not tv gazing morons because they are wives and mothers, they don’t worry more about their thigh size because they had a baby, plenty of female executives worry to excess about their image. 

There are plenty of males out in the world who sit staring blindly as NASCAR or football while they suck back a beer or 6, the difference is, we don’t call them husbands and fathers, we call them lazy and good for very little.  You see, men simply can’t spit out a couple of sprogs, then sit on their tuffs, watching American Idol and claiming to be stay at home parents. 

There are always going to be people like that in the world, male and female, they lack ambition and it has nothing to do with gender.  It’s just that some females have found a way to justify their lack of ambition, to the detriment of others.


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