The Paua Palace

My royal blog, life, opinions and me, it’s all about ME.. Right?

Bart Simpson grows up and becomes a telemarketer?

Posted by pauaprincess on September 4, 2007

I hate telemarketers and people who ring me to do surveys, people who ring to convince me to change power companies, go to get rich seminars and want my mortgage.  I used to feel sorry for them, I mean it’s their job and they get a lot of rejection right?  When I got rung up at 8am on a Sunday morning a few years ago, that compassion evaporated permanently.

So now I just say no, no thank you and hang up.  It’s kinder.  Like ripping of a bandage, do it quick and it hurts less.

The other day, I was going about my business flicking the duster about and vacuuming.  I’d fielded a call from my Prince and at least 3 from my crazy mother unit in the space of an hour, there was precious little being achieved on the housework front and it was starting to tick me off. 

When the phone rang I turned off the vacuum with an exasperated “what now!” and adjusted my attitude to answer.


Hello is this the householder

Yes (what I should have said was “no, this is the burglar” next time I will)

Madam I am calling from world exchange, how would you like to save money on….

(cutting her short) No thank you

Madam I want to tell you about…

(again cutting her short) I said No, Thank you!

and I hung up.

Walked over to the vacuum cleaner and went to flip the switch and would you believe the phone rings again!

I stalk over to the phone and pick it up


Madam I wanted to to tell you…

(Voice raised) I said no! what part of NO don’t you understand? NO NO NO! Go AWAY! I’M BUSY!

and threw the phone back in it’s cradle.

It’s not the first time I’ve had them ring me back after I’ve told them no.  A few years ago some telemarketer rang the Prince while he was crawling around in a ceiling.  When he’s working he’ll say anything to get off the phone and apparently he told someone it was ok to call him back that night.  Only that night he was at training.

This person got me and started to tell me that he was ringing to confirm an appointment to discuss our mortgage that he’d made with the Prince.  I told him no thanks, we weren’t interested.  He argued with me that the Prince had made an appointment so clearly he WAS interested and this person was coming over to discuss it with him!  I didn’t take kindly to his patronizing tone.  I told him he wasn’t coming to my house to discuss MY mortgage with anyone and that there was no way even if he did discuss it with the Prince, I would agree to MY mortgage moving anywhere because I was very happy with MY mortgage arrangements thank you, so he may as well forget it!

He said I couldn’t unmake the appointment he’d made with the Prince.

I told him I had the power to turn off life support to the Prince, I could certainly unmake an appointment don’t you think? And if he came anywhere near my property, I was giving him notice now he was trespassed and I would have him arrested after I’d let the dogs chew on him in the interval between me calling the Police and them actually arriving, it’s called reasonable force and I’d be well within my rights.

He said he’d have to speak to the Prince to break the unconfirmed appointment.

I told him the Prince wasn’t allowed to talk on the phone anymore because he made stupid ass decisions when he was busy and that he was currently practicing  walking and chewing gum at the same time.

He rang the Prince on his mobile, I don’t know how he got that number, but he did the persistent little prick.

The Prince told him if I’d said no then sorry, that was that. (I’m so wearing the pants that night!)

Would you believe the tosser called me back and blew raspberries down the phone? I know because I have caller id.  I rang his company and laid a complaint as soon as he hung up.  What kind of unprofessional little brat does that? Who knew Bart Simpson worked as a telemarketer?


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