The Paua Palace

My royal blog, life, opinions and me, it’s all about ME.. Right?

Speaking ill of the dead

Posted by pauaprincess on September 13, 2007

Have you ever noticed that when someone dies, no matter how bad they were in life, how grumpy, rude, ill mannered or evil… they are spoken of as saints?  Seriously, have you ever read an article on someone who died, they were always the best child growing up, so loving and helpful, they did well in their chosen field, well liked by all etc etc.

I went to a funeral once of a guy who was well known as a crotchety old man and that is putting it kindly.  He was the most negative person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting, estranged from his family and muttered about by all who came into contact with him and were glad to leave his company.  Yet the eulogy spoke glowingly of his accomplishments, his patience (non existent), his compassion (his what?) and his willingness to impart knowledge (I guess that was a kind way to call him a know it all prick).  Nary a word about his lack of contact with his family, the way he dumped his wife and kids.  In other words, not a single even slightly negative thing was said.

Why do we do that?

Is it because of the taboo of speaking ill of the dead?  A mere acquaintance who attended out of respect, would come away wondering if they ever even knew this person.

I don’t want this to happen to me.  If my children stand up and say, our Mum had a wicked temper! You wouldn’t want to make her mad, I’ll be ok with it.  If my Prince stands up and says, well she was a loyal wife but by God she was a sarcastic bitch at times, I’ll be fine.  If my brothers and sisters feel a need to tell the world about how I pushed them around growing up, how I was mean at times and how I could on occasion be a nice sister who beat up the kids who tried to do my siblings over… I can live or rather die with it.  If my friends want to talk about my propensity to gossip, my occasional backstab or my quick temper, well that was me.  I know I am not perfect but I am at heart a good person.  I don’t mind being perceived as human, a fallible person.

Wouldn’t it be better to talk about the real person?  Rather than some rose coloured view of them?


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